Fear...

I was really dumbfounded when I checked my email last friday...there was an email from Dwen,,,...I was thoughtless at first..bcos i wanst expecting of it...after a month of hearing nothing from him, here he goes..like an exasperating wind approaching me...

Im still not ready to hear his explanations...nor his excuses...

But I guess I have to...facing the person that I fear nowadays is a big challenge...it was a big dilemma for me...

"To conquer fear, you must become fear".

This is what I ve from Batman begins... hehehehe

I need to face my fears...needless to say, facing your fears will help you a lot to overcome any fears..

I need to face him...


He invites me to chat with him today...

And im ready, well prepared for any conversations..that would probably hurt me and him..but its all right...anyway we dont have any intimate relationships anymore...

At least the thought that he wants to talk to me on those things about us is very important..i need to know the reason why..I need to know what should I suppose to do after hearing him..and of course what he ought to do and think after knowing and realizing my sentiments...

I f ever he wants to come back into my life, I dont want anymore...I guess this would serve as a lesson to him...Its not because I dont love him anymore...Oh God! I have to admit that till now, ...I still love him..but what i lost about him is my trust for him anymore..


Napaka labo niya...

I want him to realize na hindi pwede yung palging ganon..on and off, on and off...


Natuto na ako...and besides..I want to feel a real love..walang assurance for the two of us..malayo ang ugali namin sa isat-isa..mas maganda siguro kung nakakasama niya at nakakasama ko yung mga mamahalin namin...


it is a big factor that we need to consider kasi...


Natututunan ko na nga siyang makalimutan..and alam ko darating yung day natatawanan ko na lang ang mga ito..yung tipo bang gud ol days na alng...


kung hindi talaga kami ang destined para sa isat isa..

Sa ngayon hindi namin alam kung kami nga...

Fate na lang ang bahala...